Adult relationships are complicated, they are difficult. Meeting the right person to share the whole of the rest of your life is not easy. Relationships take personal knowledge, self esteem, the ability to trust and the willingness to share. An adult relationship is never 50% 50% it has to be 100% from each partner.
So it is no wonder that many choose the single life over partnerships. Many reasons behind each person decision not to date. Choosing to live alone is far easier than coping, supporting, trusting what at first is a stranger. To date successfully you need certain things to fall into place. Luck and timings play an enormous part in finding the right person.
But you can also prepare to meet'. Being the best version of yourself in mind and body can bring opportunities that you might miss otherwise. You may be amazed at how many people become invisible to us when our mind set is wrong. Those who remain single often are in default mode after having experienced a traumatic relationship. Or have never made the decisions of choosing partners, relying on people finding them. Set your mind to defensive mode because of the emotional rejection or hurt is the mentality of a victim not wanting to be hurt again. I come across many who have been scared in adult relationships, which is extremely sad.
Those who choose the company of animals instead of people. It does not have to be this way. You can become so much fulfilment from learning about 'how to discover the best people for you. Two simple rules about dating. Do not wait for others to find you. The hardest people to be with in a relationship are the easiest people to meet. You do not need to do any 'work on yourself, ask any questions or give out any self disclosure. The easy to meet people will do all of this for you.
The down side is they will show no interest in who you are, they do not care. You represent to them a dispensable person. They care about themselves only, which is why they are single. Yes they may have all the right lines, right answers indicating that they want exactly the same thing that you do. But beware these lines are well rehursted, well practised, homed over many encounters that are only fleeting.
Dating websites attract people like this. Great at making a first impression, bad at being in exclusive relationships that are built on understanding, thoughtfulness and eventually trust. These easy to meet people are brilliant at what they do because they can not maintain long term caring, sharing relationships. I would wager that many of you reading this would have encountered people like I have just explained. How do you spot a person like this ? Simple, you wait for them to ask you about yourself. Most will but only in passing, it is doubtful they would listen or take much notice of your answers.
Be ready with some simple self disclosure to test my theory. The second simple rule is do not reverse date. Get to know the person first if you are serious about wanting a long term relationship. Meet friends that they have known for a few years. Let them speak for your potential partner. You can tell much about a person by the way that person chooses their friends. People who make good partners have a few long term loyal friends.
Do not get confused by the number of friends a person has. Saturation of friends is a sign of a person who wants to collect people like butterflies. Quality long term friendships are an indication of a person who chooses to resolve issues rather than run from them. Please do not let your knowledge of other people get in the way of you successfully dating. Be aware of the people you are likely to encounter.
But if you can not or do not want to get your mind around adult relationships buy a dog. Dogs are great unconditional company, never judge or test you, are loyal and loving.