Dating can be as complicated as you make it. If you have to think about it then the chances are you could be over thinking the whole thing. Living is great when you relax and have fun. Dating should be fun. A chance to meet new people with different personalities. It is worth knowing at this point that being honest about your own personality gives you the chance to 'click or feel that spark that so many of us are wanting. The order in which we notice is.
Long Term Compatibility.
So much of this order can be muddled up because we have expectations that turn this list on it's head. Reverse dating is a recipe to fail, but still so many of us get the order back to front. Lets have a look at some common misconception when dating.
The first misconception is people tell the truth. They do not. They tell the truth from their own perception. Their own version of events. This is not about not trusting but it is about staying open. If we are attracted to someone we are more likely to believe them without question. Rule of thumb is we can spot insincerity if we keep our thoughts and opinions open.
Both of these methods of meeting new people are great if you know how to use them. Understanding that everything you are told about the person who is a potential match comes from them. I often think that ex partners should write the profiles ! Again keeping an open mind is important. Each person you are meeting is only being introduced to you. Do not reverse date !
Setting the rulesLeave your agendas at the pub door when meeting someone new. No rules or agendas. It is not that important to tell a stranger your life story. Plenty of time for that as you get to know each other. The best people to date are the ones that are interested in life, not just themselves. Common ground on interests, music and past times is good but not essential. There is something far more important - how we sense that person. Ask yourself do you feel safe with them ? Or is something not quite right ? The person sat across the table may look attractive, but if it does not feel right your sixth sense is always right.
Think of all your friends. You will see them differently now. When you first meet a new person there is far too much going on. You are on your best behaviour, no doubt hoping to impress them. When we get to know someone we tend to value who they are, not just their appearance. It can be we hardly notice how a friend looks or dresses. It is the person we are interested in,. This applies to relationships. I am not saying that a well groomed and neatly presented person does not catch our eye, I am not. But this outer layer can be altered and changed. It this morden world hair extensions, cosmetics and clothes can be deceptive. The inner person underneath is who you are looking to discover.
You can create anything. You are capable of experiencing the very best. Leave behind your concepts, agendas and preconceived stereo typical ideas of what you want. Old mind tapes do you no good. Every time you set out to meet new people you give yourself a brand new start. That should excite you ! An open mind, a non judgemental attitude alongside a balanced knowledge of who you are. Senses on full alert. Dating is fun, every single date has the abilty to teach you something new, and could change your life forever.
Dominic J Zenden